A Malaysian Wedding

Where Chinese Tradition Meets Catholic Matrimony

Being a (somewhat) modern Chinese Roman Catholic Family, Paul is expected to do a few things prior to my going to Church for the Catholic Wedding.

Before I get into that, here’s a little history on a Traditional Chinese Wedding.

The Procession from the Groom’s House to Obtain the Bride

The dim of firecrackers, loud gongs and drums marked the start of the procession from the groom’s home. The groom led the procession accompanied by a child as an omen of his future sons, and the bridal sedan chair was proceeded by attendants with lanterns and banners, musicians, and a ‘dancing’ lion or unicorn. According to Hsiang, "Several decades ago, when there was a wedding in Fukien, the groom would to the bride’s house to fetch her, taking with him the bridal chair, which was completely covered with red satin and fresh flowers. He himself made the journey there and back in a blue and yellow teak sedan chair. "

On arriving at the bride’s house, the groom’s party was met by the bride’s friends, who would not ‘surrender ’the bride until they were satisfied by red packets of money, ang pau from the groom’s representative. This was the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties could reach an agreement.

In some cases, the groom would take dinner with the bride’s family, and receive a pair of chopsticks and two wine goblets wrapped in red paper, symbolic of his receiving the joy of the family in the person of their daughter. In some regions, he would be offered sweet longan tea, two hard-boiled eggs in syrup and transparent noodles. Another variation was the groom’s partaking of soup with a soft-boiled egg, the yolk of which he was expected to break, arguably symbolic of breaking the bride’s ties with her family.

The Bride’s Journey to the Groom’s House

The ‘good luck woman’ or a dajin, employed by the bride’s family to look after the bride, carried the bride on her back to the sedan chair. Another attendant might shield the bride with a parasol while a third tossed rice at the sedan chair. Sometimes the bride was borne out in a wooden ‘cage’ with her feet padlocked –; presumably a remnant from rougher times with extremely reluctant brides. (Andrea: Paul, don't even think about it!)

A sieve, shai-tse, which would strain out evil, and a metallic mirror, king, which would reflect light, were suspended at the rear of the bride’s sedan to protect her from evil influence. The bride might also attach a special mirror to her garment, which she would not remove until she was safely seated upon the marriage bed.

Firecrackers were set off to frighten away evil spirits as the bride departed in the sedan chair. The physical movement symbolized the transfer of the bride from her parent’s family to her husband’s.

Great care was taken to ensure that no inauspicious influence would affect the marriage. The female attendants who escorted the bride to her new home were chosen with particular care that the horoscope animals of their birth years were compatible with that of the bridegroom. The sedan chair itself was heavily curtained to prevent the bride from inadvertently glimpsing an unlucky sight, e.g. a widow, a well, or even a cat. Attendants scattered grain or beans, symbols of fertility, before her.

Arriving at the Groom’s House

Once again, firecrackers were set off just before the procession arrived. A red mat was placed before the sedan chair for the bride lest her feet touch the bare earth as she dismounted. All the household would be waiting to receive her.

The bride was required to step over a saddle or a lit stove to cross the threshold, since the words for "saddle" and "tranquillity" sound the same, ngan, and the fire would cast out of evil influences. An attendant might immediately place a heap of rice in a sieve over or near the bride. If the bride did not wear a lucky mirror, one might be used at this time to flash light upon the bride. In some regions, a grain measure and a string of of copper coins were laid out as talismans of prosperity.

After these rituals took place, the groom could finally raise the red scarf and view the bride’s face.

Fonseka-Dewar way about things..

Seeing as how Firecrackers are banned unless you have a permit, and how in no way will I be put into a cage, and the journey to the Dewar Residence would be quite tedious in the current situations, Modern Chinese Roman Catholic Weddings still maintain the framework of the above traditions, with a church wedding thrown in for good measure.

As the church wedding will be on the 30th July (Friday) at 11.30am, Paul will first need to come “obtain” Andrea from the house of the bride. There will be a procession, generally made up of the groom and his groomsmen, the home of the bride, which will take place at about 8.30am.

Paul will have with him a list of special symbolic items to present to Andrea’s family, namely;

• A whole, roasted, suckling pig which is a present to the bride’s mother for raising the bride to
be the young woman she is today. (Some traditionalists say that this is also to symbolise the bride being “entirely pure” in the grooms eyes...?)

• at least four or more, even number of tangerines or oranges for good fortune,

• some dried persimmons for prosperity,

• some dried longan in shells for sweetness in the marriage

• some dried lotus seeds for having many children,

• some dried magnolia petals called “pak hup” to wish for hundred years of closeness and
happiness in the marriage.

• A pair of live chickens (a hen and a rooster) to symbolise the union of the bride and groom.

• Dowry, amounting anything from RM9.99 to RM99.99, to RM9999.99 (you get the drift), as the number 9 can be understood as the term “Forever”, obviously good in Chinese traditional beliefs when it comes to marriage.

Paul will have all this and more (sourced by Mummy Fonseka of course) with him before he arrives to Andrea’s home. Helped by his groomsmen, Paul will then present these gifts to Andrea’s family.

“Getting” the Bride...?

After presenting the gifts to Andrea’s family, the Paul will be met by Andrea’s bridesmaids and sisters, who would not ‘surrender’ the bride until they were satisfied by red packets of money, ang pau from the groom’s representative. This was the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties could reach an agreement. He may also be put through several tasks to prove his love and sincerity in wanting to marry her (as if the suckling pig was not enough?).

These are as (but not limited to) the following challenges:

1. Taking a large shot of an alcoholic concoction which can be made up of anything from whiskey, vodka, tobasco and soy sauce, chilli paste, tequila and Jagermeister blended together

2. Performing athletic feats such as 50 push-ups

3. Answering questions about the bride which he *should* very well know. (Birthday, Anniversary, favourite dipping sauce)

4. Singing to her a song of choice

Thankfully for the groom, his groomsmen can be there to take the punch and execute challenges 1 & 2 above, but for the sake of the groom, he should be able to perform 3 & 4 on his own.

When the bridesmaids and sisters of the bride are satisfied, Andrea will part with her bridal bouquet as a sign that she will meet Paul at church.

Paul will then depart from the bride’s home at 10.00am, shortly followed by the bride and her party.

The Church Wedding – the Holy Union

Is pretty much like any other church wedding, with psalms, songs, vows and rings.

What happens after the church wedding – will be in my next post! :)