Love at first sight
Factually a little inconsistent (Paul and I met May2008!) but Kee did a great job writing such a cute piece nonetheless.
Thanks Kee!
xox
Mrs. Fonseka-Dewar
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Invitation Card, Explained
If you’ve received it, you'd have seen this little picture, with a little quote below it:
"What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" ~ Emerson.
The picture here (seen in much clearer detail) was taken when Paul and I were away for our First Anniversary -- we cycled around Paris on these little rented bicycles with baskets in front.
The basket on the left is mine, with my Denim GAP bag and (Paul says, chinky looking) hat, and his everlasting Crumpler bike bag.
The quote itself means a lot to us, as we’ve overcome many obstacles to get where we are now, and we’re still going to have a somewhat long-distance marriage whilst we have our respective jobs that we enjoy doing for the time being.
And in case you’re wondering, yes, we will eventually live together. When and where, are questions left unanswered for now. But hey, they're tiny matters, really. :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Story that Says it All.
HARPER’S BAZAAR MALAYSIA
COVER STORY JUNE 2010
BY SUNITHA THAYAPARAN
Andrea Fonseka is crying. Her PA scurries off for serviettes in the java joint we’re hanging at but Fonseka beats her to the punch-line. Fishing tissues from the obligatory oversized tote that is the signature of models everywhere in the free world she bounces back with that high-wattage smile we’ve come to know and, dare I say, love. “I’m sorry,” laughs the 26-year-old, “but that part of the story always gets me a little emotional.” She’s in the middle of her love story with IP legal eagle – and fiancée - Australian Paul Dewar. It’s Act 2, Scene 3, that involves a stressful New Year’s eve, a trishaw ride through Singapore and a second marriage proposal - but more on that in a bit.
First. Three things you may not know about the beauty queen who got the gossip girls going when she won the Miss Malaysia Universe title in 2004 despite being, well, on the wrong end of the beauty queen weighing scales. She was proposed marriage to three times, by the same man; despite her a civil registration she will only consider herself truly married when she’s on her father’s arm being given away at the church; she eats. Take this breakfast interview for instance, where she’s happily polishing off egg-on-muffin toast and latte without a crumb to spare on her perfectly manicured fluoro-orange nails. “It’s so simple,” says the lanky model who shed every inch of baby fat after winning the title thanks to a Marie France Bodyline slimming contract. “Think biology meets logic. You don’t eat after a certain hour because earlier in the day your chances of burning of calories are higher.” And for straight shooting advice to the girls she’s mentoring for the 2010 Miss Universe Malaysia pageant, “Two weeks before a swimsuit shoot when you know you have to look your absolute physical best, cut out salt completely from your diet,” says Fonseka. “In that short space of time there is no way you can lose fat in a healthful way. The best you can hope for is water loss and you’ll be amazed the difference it makes to your silhouette.”
Sound advice, the sort of solid big sister advice you’d get from someone who’s been through the media wringer herself. Browse through old images of a young robust Fonseka in the 2004 pageant and you’ll see exactly the same bright-light self-confidence she projects today, as a lean 60 kg in an angular 5-foot-11-inch frame. So, enquiring minds wanna know, apart from the slew of boy mag covers that followed her svelte new look: what’s the diff? Fonseka pauses for a second and says, “You know, my mum thought I shouldn’t have entered the pageant when I did. She felt I wasn’t ready for it. But, I was 19, bursting with energy and there’s just no telling me,” she flashes that smile. “Sure it was hard, people could be pretty unkind, but I smiled through it all and it was a real smile, it was me. If there’s any difference in the smile then, and now, it’s perhaps that when I smile today it has stronger foundations. I’ve been through a fair bit, and survived. I have a lot to smile about today.”
Ah, and that she does. Come July she’ll be walking down the aisle with a man who’s proved to be her rock in the last two years. “I’m a traditional girl,” she ‘fesses up. “I believe in the whole white wedding-in-church deal.” Right down to parental approval, it would seem this good Catholic girl wants to do things by the book. “Twelve hours after I broke up with my ex, while visiting my sister in Perth for a quick getaway and recharge session, I met Paul. It’s funny how things happen and you don’t really think about it at the time. We spent a short weekend getting to know each other and I remember nonchalantly, verbally, giving him my email address when he sweetly drove me to the airport. Well, I got off the plane in Singapore less than six hours later and there’s an email from him. I thought, ‘Wow, nice move.’” A long distance courtship ensues and after three months Dewar casually pops the question. Fonseka is happy, but lays down the law that he has to talk to her folks. “So I take him to my parents place for the third degree and went shopping and when I got back, it’s like they’ve adopted him or something,” she cracks up. Parental approval seals the deal though Dewar proposes once again on a romantic trishaw ride in Singapore – the one that gets Fonseka all emotional because it comes at a particularly trying time. “It made me realize how ‘there’ he was for me and that’s love right? Unmitigated support, someone who cares enough for you to let you be, well, you.”
Oh and let’s not forget the third and final enactment of the proposal. Really, this has all the makings of a hit Australasia rom-com with Fonseka playing herself and – let’s go for broke - Hugh Jackman playing Dewar. It was on the couple’s first trip to Paris together and took place at the top of the Eiffel Tower. “He remembered that I’d said once how romantic it would be,” says Fonseka as she shows me the beautiful antique engagement ring her fiancée presented her with, his grandmother’s ring, and a 100-year-old family heirloom. “We get to the top and he asks me for the ring back, and I was all like ‘Hey, what’s going on?’ Then he got down on one knee, and asked me for my hand in marriage.” Just when I think she’s once again on the verge of tears, the pixie smile slips in and she says, “We then proceeded to have the most expensive champagne on the planet. I swear I’m framing those flutes.”
So now that her career is taking off here in KL with the Miss Universe Malaysia pageant contract, how will the couple manage long distance marriage? “Oh no,” says Fonseka, “We’re looking at options that work for both our careers, but for the time being I’ll have to be based here for work commitments. In the future a happy compromise might be Singapore.” But for now it’s all wedding bells and bliss for the model with an infectious laugh. “Jovian Mandagie is an absolute doll and is totally making me a goddess come the big day,” says Fonseka who reckons she’ll leave herself in the artistic hands of the designer well known for his ethereal confections. “My days are pretty full-on, with filming and getting these girls pageant-ready. It’s so nice to know that there’s one thing at least, that I simply do not have to worry about.” And with that, her PA starts getting the classic anxious PA look that denotes “we will be late for the 11am L’Oreal meeting if this doesn’t wrap up soon.” We air kiss, and in the vein of any good pulp romance the hot mel’s outta sight faster than two shakes of a lamb’s tail.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Moral of the story..?
Always give yourself room for error.
Story:
Printed my invitation cards, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES.
I won't get into why that happened, lets just say that Joyful is NOT spelt Joyfull, size does matter, and borders off center, in short.
So the cards finally arrived yesterday, costing RM1,500 more than originally budgeted due to a 'rushed' job.
But no time to wallow; moving on to more fun stuff!
Am having my final triumph as a 'single lady' on the 24th July in Singapore. Fei Ho and Baba, two of my bridesmaids, are putting together a "Stagette" day, which involves anything between massages, manicures, lots of alcohol and a penthouse suite.
As Paul hasn't informed me who is going to be joining us in Singapore on the 24th any wives / partners / girlfriends / daughters over 18, who will be around then; do drop me an email at fonseka.dewar@gmail.com? :)
So this is the plan,
23rd to Singapore
25th to Bintan
28th morning to KL
28th evening (Andrea has to work :( )
29th evening big steamboat dinner getogether (TBC)
30th and 31st wedding
1st -- Liver function tests at the nearest clinic.
Unfortunately for friends of Paul who may still be, er, eligible; and to all my single male friends coming for the wedding.....
Nadine, this year's Miss Universe Malaysia...
... won't be able to make it.
Nadine will be undergoing training at AsiaWorks (if all goes as planned), and will be in a self-empowerment course over the weekend.
Parkson, our wardrobe sponsor, is throwing her a party on the 28th though -- feel free to drop in. ;)
Up next: the downlow on how Andrea met Paul...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Pre-Wedding Shoot: Saturday 3rd July
Taken before they invented the Smile. As is customary in all Chinese-leaning weddings, (and even Ang Moh ones) a pre-wedding shoot is pretty much a 'must have'. Here in Malaysia, it is often bundled in with the rental/purchase of a wedding gown, more often than not, it involves one indoor shoot (studio style), and one outdoor shoot (Sex And The City screen shot style -- except its husband and wife).
Mathilda couldn't choose between florists... or dresses. I think its really important to take good pictures before I get hitched... simply because I will never be "engaged" again! Neither will I ever be 25 again. So unless I'm lucky enough to age like wine, I'd better get some pictures.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Decor & Staging: Wedding Banquet 31st July 2010
Okay so have finally agreed on Wedding Cards, Thanks Victor & Magenta for the great design, and a special THANKS to the printer who refuuused to give me a discount. ;)
Am quite excited with it, cards will be out next week. Am still slowly calling up my friends with the following conversation / email chain messages:
Me: Hallo?
Friend: Hallo.
Me: Eh, Remember I told you last year I was getting married?
Friend: Yeah. You're seriously actually doing it???
...
Okay that's abit of a stretch, if they didn't say that, they may have been thinking it. ;)
Jokes aside, am really happy people actually noted the date when it was mentioned the end of last year, and saved themselves to be available! *bless* Hugs to all of you I've called so far! Only halfway through my list, bear with me.
On a seperate note: Flowers are EXPENSIVE. Especially when Jovian loves using lots of flowers. ;) Bless his soul though, am quite confident that things are going to be BEAUTIFUL on the day itself.
So there we go -- I got the decor for the banquet night out of the way, now I just need to get the Church wedding in order (Jovian I thought you were going to help me out here too??) and hopefully things fall into place.
Paul will be coming to KL over the weekend of the 3rd to do our Pre-Wedding shoot, which hopefully will be not too taxing on him. I don't think he realises exactly how tiring shoots can be.. it'll definitely be interesting. :)
Bridesmaids gowns are going to be very pretty as well, we've a beautiful design coming along. :)
Food Tasting (the hotel hosts a dinner with the sample dinner served) will be on the 2nd of July -- will be sure to take lots of pics then! ;)
Till then,
Mrs Fonseka-Dewar (I best get used to that. o_O)
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wah - long explaination on Church Wedding.
Taken From : http://foryourmarriage.org/
Rite of Marriage
Rite for Celebrating Marriage Between a Catholic and an Unbaptized Person
The wedding liturgy can be personally expressive while proclaiming the Catholic vision for their union.
The rite for a Catholic marrying a catechumen (one who is preparing for baptism), a non-Christian, or someone who does not believe in God exemplifies sensitivity for the unbaptized person and his/her family. This third form has the same four basic elements as the first two forms of the rite: questions about intent, exchange of consent, the blessing and exchange of rings, and the nuptial blessing. With the exception that the nuptial blessing may be omitted, this rite preserves the same structure as the other two forms.
The Rite for Celebrating Marriage between a Catholic and an unbaptized person is set outside Mass within a Liturgy of the Word. The number of Scripture readings may be fewer than the usual three. As is obvious in the outline below, it offers multiple options so that the couple, with the assistance of the priest or deacon, can tailor it to their circumstances.
Entrance Rite
1.Gathering
2.Welcome of the bride and bridegroom (at the door of the church or at the altar)
3.Procession (many choices for the entrance song)
4.Greeting (three options)
5.Opening Prayer (four options)
Liturgy of the Word
1.Old Testament Scripture Reading (nine options)
2.Responsorial Psalm (seven options and many musical settings)
3.New Testament Scripture Reading (thirteen options)
4.Gospel Acclamation (choice of musical settings)
5.Gospel (ten options)
6.Homily (based on the Scriptures, Church teaching on marriage, and the couple’s lives)
Rite of Marriage
1.Address to the couple
2.Questions regarding intentions
3.Consent (two choices of vows for the couple to speak to each another; a third alternative, when pastoral circumstances dictate, has the priest or deacon pose the vows as questions)
4.Reception of the consent (may be accompanied with a musical acclamation by the assembly)
5.Blessing and Exchange of Rings (three prayer options, may be omitted if circumstances require)
6.General Intercessions (three suggested forms available, personalization possible) with the Nuptial Blessing (may be omitted if circumstances require)
Concluding Rite
1.The Lord’s Prayer (may be omitted or another prayer by the priest or deacon may be substituted if the Nuptial Blessing is omitted)
2.Blessing (a simple blessing or four options for a solemn blessing)
3.Dismissal (three options)
4.Recessional (many choices for music)
Given multiple options for various elements, a couple can make choices that reflect their aspirations for marriage and are most appropriate for their family and the local community. The wedding liturgy can be personally expressive while proclaiming the Catholic vision for their union.
To prepare well yet without undue stress over the choices, a future bride and groom can use the Rite for Celebrating Marriage options for prayers and Scriptures to help them develop shared prayer. Praying and reading Scripture aloud is effective for listening to the way each selection speaks to one’s heart. A parish or diocesan wedding music workshop can aid the non-Christian party’s understanding of the Catholic rite as well as help the couple choose music and instrumental accompaniment. Otherwise a parish liturgist can advise and even play for them some good possibilities for music. The Catholic party’s parents might be a source of advice as to which family members and friends are qualified to proclaim Scripture.
A non-Catholic bride or groom and the person’s family may not know that the bride and groom are the principal ministers of the Rite of Marriage. As such they are both expected to be in the entrance procession with the priest or deacon and other ministers of the liturgy. Bride and groom may walk together or their parents may escort each of them. Ordinarily their two witnesses (Maid of Honor and Best Man) precede them down the aisle, and bridesmaids and groomsmen may also join the entrance procession.
The third form of the Rite for Celebrating Marriage, between a Catholic and an unbaptized person, while not a Sacrament (an unbaptized person does not celebrate a sacrament) is a complete and valid rite, signifying a permanent bond, that offers the couple many options. When the couple makes choices that reflect their own prayerfulness, religious practice, and social responsibility, their individuality and hopes for marriage will shine out in their Scripture, prayer, and music selections. Their wedding will be the holy, hospitable, and happy celebration it is meant to be, reflective of the Church’s vision for their marriage.
Rite of Marriage
Rite for Celebrating Marriage Between a Catholic and an Unbaptized Person
The wedding liturgy can be personally expressive while proclaiming the Catholic vision for their union.
The rite for a Catholic marrying a catechumen (one who is preparing for baptism), a non-Christian, or someone who does not believe in God exemplifies sensitivity for the unbaptized person and his/her family. This third form has the same four basic elements as the first two forms of the rite: questions about intent, exchange of consent, the blessing and exchange of rings, and the nuptial blessing. With the exception that the nuptial blessing may be omitted, this rite preserves the same structure as the other two forms.
The Rite for Celebrating Marriage between a Catholic and an unbaptized person is set outside Mass within a Liturgy of the Word. The number of Scripture readings may be fewer than the usual three. As is obvious in the outline below, it offers multiple options so that the couple, with the assistance of the priest or deacon, can tailor it to their circumstances.
Entrance Rite
1.Gathering
2.Welcome of the bride and bridegroom (at the door of the church or at the altar)
3.Procession (many choices for the entrance song)
4.Greeting (three options)
5.Opening Prayer (four options)
Liturgy of the Word
1.Old Testament Scripture Reading (nine options)
2.Responsorial Psalm (seven options and many musical settings)
3.New Testament Scripture Reading (thirteen options)
4.Gospel Acclamation (choice of musical settings)
5.Gospel (ten options)
6.Homily (based on the Scriptures, Church teaching on marriage, and the couple’s lives)
Rite of Marriage
1.Address to the couple
2.Questions regarding intentions
3.Consent (two choices of vows for the couple to speak to each another; a third alternative, when pastoral circumstances dictate, has the priest or deacon pose the vows as questions)
4.Reception of the consent (may be accompanied with a musical acclamation by the assembly)
5.Blessing and Exchange of Rings (three prayer options, may be omitted if circumstances require)
6.General Intercessions (three suggested forms available, personalization possible) with the Nuptial Blessing (may be omitted if circumstances require)
Concluding Rite
1.The Lord’s Prayer (may be omitted or another prayer by the priest or deacon may be substituted if the Nuptial Blessing is omitted)
2.Blessing (a simple blessing or four options for a solemn blessing)
3.Dismissal (three options)
4.Recessional (many choices for music)
Given multiple options for various elements, a couple can make choices that reflect their aspirations for marriage and are most appropriate for their family and the local community. The wedding liturgy can be personally expressive while proclaiming the Catholic vision for their union.
To prepare well yet without undue stress over the choices, a future bride and groom can use the Rite for Celebrating Marriage options for prayers and Scriptures to help them develop shared prayer. Praying and reading Scripture aloud is effective for listening to the way each selection speaks to one’s heart. A parish or diocesan wedding music workshop can aid the non-Christian party’s understanding of the Catholic rite as well as help the couple choose music and instrumental accompaniment. Otherwise a parish liturgist can advise and even play for them some good possibilities for music. The Catholic party’s parents might be a source of advice as to which family members and friends are qualified to proclaim Scripture.
A non-Catholic bride or groom and the person’s family may not know that the bride and groom are the principal ministers of the Rite of Marriage. As such they are both expected to be in the entrance procession with the priest or deacon and other ministers of the liturgy. Bride and groom may walk together or their parents may escort each of them. Ordinarily their two witnesses (Maid of Honor and Best Man) precede them down the aisle, and bridesmaids and groomsmen may also join the entrance procession.
The third form of the Rite for Celebrating Marriage, between a Catholic and an unbaptized person, while not a Sacrament (an unbaptized person does not celebrate a sacrament) is a complete and valid rite, signifying a permanent bond, that offers the couple many options. When the couple makes choices that reflect their own prayerfulness, religious practice, and social responsibility, their individuality and hopes for marriage will shine out in their Scripture, prayer, and music selections. Their wedding will be the holy, hospitable, and happy celebration it is meant to be, reflective of the Church’s vision for their marriage.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Invitation Cards
Okay so I initially wanted to go for massively glamorous invitation cards, on suggestion of my Wedding Planner Jovian Mandagie.
However after much thought, taking into consideration that due to my typical last-minute-ness, the chip-boards wouldn't be ready in time, and as each paper slip needs to be hand glued to the card.... I'd be getting it sometime the first week of July -- NOT an option.
So spoke to Victor of Magenta again yesterday, and we came up with a way to make the cards both time and cost effective as well! Will post up the proofs of the cards as soon as I get them printed! :)
But yes -- if anyone wants uber customised invitation cards out there, drop me a note at fonseka.dewar@gmail.com -- this dude's AMAZING!
xx
A.
However after much thought, taking into consideration that due to my typical last-minute-ness, the chip-boards wouldn't be ready in time, and as each paper slip needs to be hand glued to the card.... I'd be getting it sometime the first week of July -- NOT an option.
So spoke to Victor of Magenta again yesterday, and we came up with a way to make the cards both time and cost effective as well! Will post up the proofs of the cards as soon as I get them printed! :)
But yes -- if anyone wants uber customised invitation cards out there, drop me a note at fonseka.dewar@gmail.com -- this dude's AMAZING!
xx
A.
Where Chinese Tradition Meets Catholic Matrimony
Being a (somewhat) modern Chinese Roman Catholic Family, Paul is expected to do a few things prior to my going to Church for the Catholic Wedding.
Before I get into that, here’s a little history on a Traditional Chinese Wedding.
The Procession from the Groom’s House to Obtain the Bride
The dim of firecrackers, loud gongs and drums marked the start of the procession from the groom’s home. The groom led the procession accompanied by a child as an omen of his future sons, and the bridal sedan chair was proceeded by attendants with lanterns and banners, musicians, and a ‘dancing’ lion or unicorn. According to Hsiang, "Several decades ago, when there was a wedding in Fukien, the groom would to the bride’s house to fetch her, taking with him the bridal chair, which was completely covered with red satin and fresh flowers. He himself made the journey there and back in a blue and yellow teak sedan chair. "
On arriving at the bride’s house, the groom’s party was met by the bride’s friends, who would not ‘surrender ’the bride until they were satisfied by red packets of money, ang pau from the groom’s representative. This was the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties could reach an agreement.
In some cases, the groom would take dinner with the bride’s family, and receive a pair of chopsticks and two wine goblets wrapped in red paper, symbolic of his receiving the joy of the family in the person of their daughter. In some regions, he would be offered sweet longan tea, two hard-boiled eggs in syrup and transparent noodles. Another variation was the groom’s partaking of soup with a soft-boiled egg, the yolk of which he was expected to break, arguably symbolic of breaking the bride’s ties with her family.
The Bride’s Journey to the Groom’s House
The ‘good luck woman’ or a dajin, employed by the bride’s family to look after the bride, carried the bride on her back to the sedan chair. Another attendant might shield the bride with a parasol while a third tossed rice at the sedan chair. Sometimes the bride was borne out in a wooden ‘cage’ with her feet padlocked –; presumably a remnant from rougher times with extremely reluctant brides. (Andrea: Paul, don't even think about it!)
A sieve, shai-tse, which would strain out evil, and a metallic mirror, king, which would reflect light, were suspended at the rear of the bride’s sedan to protect her from evil influence. The bride might also attach a special mirror to her garment, which she would not remove until she was safely seated upon the marriage bed.
Firecrackers were set off to frighten away evil spirits as the bride departed in the sedan chair. The physical movement symbolized the transfer of the bride from her parent’s family to her husband’s.
Great care was taken to ensure that no inauspicious influence would affect the marriage. The female attendants who escorted the bride to her new home were chosen with particular care that the horoscope animals of their birth years were compatible with that of the bridegroom. The sedan chair itself was heavily curtained to prevent the bride from inadvertently glimpsing an unlucky sight, e.g. a widow, a well, or even a cat. Attendants scattered grain or beans, symbols of fertility, before her.
Arriving at the Groom’s House
Once again, firecrackers were set off just before the procession arrived. A red mat was placed before the sedan chair for the bride lest her feet touch the bare earth as she dismounted. All the household would be waiting to receive her.
The bride was required to step over a saddle or a lit stove to cross the threshold, since the words for "saddle" and "tranquillity" sound the same, ngan, and the fire would cast out of evil influences. An attendant might immediately place a heap of rice in a sieve over or near the bride. If the bride did not wear a lucky mirror, one might be used at this time to flash light upon the bride. In some regions, a grain measure and a string of of copper coins were laid out as talismans of prosperity.
After these rituals took place, the groom could finally raise the red scarf and view the bride’s face.
Fonseka-Dewar way about things..
Seeing as how Firecrackers are banned unless you have a permit, and how in no way will I be put into a cage, and the journey to the Dewar Residence would be quite tedious in the current situations, Modern Chinese Roman Catholic Weddings still maintain the framework of the above traditions, with a church wedding thrown in for good measure.
As the church wedding will be on the 30th July (Friday) at 11.30am, Paul will first need to come “obtain” Andrea from the house of the bride. There will be a procession, generally made up of the groom and his groomsmen, the home of the bride, which will take place at about 8.30am.
Paul will have with him a list of special symbolic items to present to Andrea’s family, namely;
• A whole, roasted, suckling pig which is a present to the bride’s mother for raising the bride to
be the young woman she is today. (Some traditionalists say that this is also to symbolise the bride being “entirely pure” in the grooms eyes...?)
• at least four or more, even number of tangerines or oranges for good fortune,
• some dried persimmons for prosperity,
• some dried longan in shells for sweetness in the marriage
• some dried lotus seeds for having many children,
• some dried magnolia petals called “pak hup” to wish for hundred years of closeness and
happiness in the marriage.
• A pair of live chickens (a hen and a rooster) to symbolise the union of the bride and groom.
• Dowry, amounting anything from RM9.99 to RM99.99, to RM9999.99 (you get the drift), as the number 9 can be understood as the term “Forever”, obviously good in Chinese traditional beliefs when it comes to marriage.
Paul will have all this and more (sourced by Mummy Fonseka of course) with him before he arrives to Andrea’s home. Helped by his groomsmen, Paul will then present these gifts to Andrea’s family.
“Getting” the Bride...?
After presenting the gifts to Andrea’s family, the Paul will be met by Andrea’s bridesmaids and sisters, who would not ‘surrender’ the bride until they were satisfied by red packets of money, ang pau from the groom’s representative. This was the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties could reach an agreement. He may also be put through several tasks to prove his love and sincerity in wanting to marry her (as if the suckling pig was not enough?).
These are as (but not limited to) the following challenges:
1. Taking a large shot of an alcoholic concoction which can be made up of anything from whiskey, vodka, tobasco and soy sauce, chilli paste, tequila and Jagermeister blended together
2. Performing athletic feats such as 50 push-ups
3. Answering questions about the bride which he *should* very well know. (Birthday, Anniversary, favourite dipping sauce)
4. Singing to her a song of choice
Thankfully for the groom, his groomsmen can be there to take the punch and execute challenges 1 & 2 above, but for the sake of the groom, he should be able to perform 3 & 4 on his own.
When the bridesmaids and sisters of the bride are satisfied, Andrea will part with her bridal bouquet as a sign that she will meet Paul at church.
Paul will then depart from the bride’s home at 10.00am, shortly followed by the bride and her party.
The Church Wedding – the Holy Union
Is pretty much like any other church wedding, with psalms, songs, vows and rings.
What happens after the church wedding – will be in my next post! :)
Being a (somewhat) modern Chinese Roman Catholic Family, Paul is expected to do a few things prior to my going to Church for the Catholic Wedding.
Before I get into that, here’s a little history on a Traditional Chinese Wedding.
The Procession from the Groom’s House to Obtain the Bride
The dim of firecrackers, loud gongs and drums marked the start of the procession from the groom’s home. The groom led the procession accompanied by a child as an omen of his future sons, and the bridal sedan chair was proceeded by attendants with lanterns and banners, musicians, and a ‘dancing’ lion or unicorn. According to Hsiang, "Several decades ago, when there was a wedding in Fukien, the groom would to the bride’s house to fetch her, taking with him the bridal chair, which was completely covered with red satin and fresh flowers. He himself made the journey there and back in a blue and yellow teak sedan chair. "
On arriving at the bride’s house, the groom’s party was met by the bride’s friends, who would not ‘surrender ’the bride until they were satisfied by red packets of money, ang pau from the groom’s representative. This was the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties could reach an agreement.
In some cases, the groom would take dinner with the bride’s family, and receive a pair of chopsticks and two wine goblets wrapped in red paper, symbolic of his receiving the joy of the family in the person of their daughter. In some regions, he would be offered sweet longan tea, two hard-boiled eggs in syrup and transparent noodles. Another variation was the groom’s partaking of soup with a soft-boiled egg, the yolk of which he was expected to break, arguably symbolic of breaking the bride’s ties with her family.
The Bride’s Journey to the Groom’s House
The ‘good luck woman’ or a dajin, employed by the bride’s family to look after the bride, carried the bride on her back to the sedan chair. Another attendant might shield the bride with a parasol while a third tossed rice at the sedan chair. Sometimes the bride was borne out in a wooden ‘cage’ with her feet padlocked –; presumably a remnant from rougher times with extremely reluctant brides. (Andrea: Paul, don't even think about it!)
A sieve, shai-tse, which would strain out evil, and a metallic mirror, king, which would reflect light, were suspended at the rear of the bride’s sedan to protect her from evil influence. The bride might also attach a special mirror to her garment, which she would not remove until she was safely seated upon the marriage bed.
Firecrackers were set off to frighten away evil spirits as the bride departed in the sedan chair. The physical movement symbolized the transfer of the bride from her parent’s family to her husband’s.
Great care was taken to ensure that no inauspicious influence would affect the marriage. The female attendants who escorted the bride to her new home were chosen with particular care that the horoscope animals of their birth years were compatible with that of the bridegroom. The sedan chair itself was heavily curtained to prevent the bride from inadvertently glimpsing an unlucky sight, e.g. a widow, a well, or even a cat. Attendants scattered grain or beans, symbols of fertility, before her.
Arriving at the Groom’s House
Once again, firecrackers were set off just before the procession arrived. A red mat was placed before the sedan chair for the bride lest her feet touch the bare earth as she dismounted. All the household would be waiting to receive her.
The bride was required to step over a saddle or a lit stove to cross the threshold, since the words for "saddle" and "tranquillity" sound the same, ngan, and the fire would cast out of evil influences. An attendant might immediately place a heap of rice in a sieve over or near the bride. If the bride did not wear a lucky mirror, one might be used at this time to flash light upon the bride. In some regions, a grain measure and a string of of copper coins were laid out as talismans of prosperity.
After these rituals took place, the groom could finally raise the red scarf and view the bride’s face.
Fonseka-Dewar way about things..
Seeing as how Firecrackers are banned unless you have a permit, and how in no way will I be put into a cage, and the journey to the Dewar Residence would be quite tedious in the current situations, Modern Chinese Roman Catholic Weddings still maintain the framework of the above traditions, with a church wedding thrown in for good measure.
As the church wedding will be on the 30th July (Friday) at 11.30am, Paul will first need to come “obtain” Andrea from the house of the bride. There will be a procession, generally made up of the groom and his groomsmen, the home of the bride, which will take place at about 8.30am.
Paul will have with him a list of special symbolic items to present to Andrea’s family, namely;
• A whole, roasted, suckling pig which is a present to the bride’s mother for raising the bride to
be the young woman she is today. (Some traditionalists say that this is also to symbolise the bride being “entirely pure” in the grooms eyes...?)
• at least four or more, even number of tangerines or oranges for good fortune,
• some dried persimmons for prosperity,
• some dried longan in shells for sweetness in the marriage
• some dried lotus seeds for having many children,
• some dried magnolia petals called “pak hup” to wish for hundred years of closeness and
happiness in the marriage.
• A pair of live chickens (a hen and a rooster) to symbolise the union of the bride and groom.
• Dowry, amounting anything from RM9.99 to RM99.99, to RM9999.99 (you get the drift), as the number 9 can be understood as the term “Forever”, obviously good in Chinese traditional beliefs when it comes to marriage.
Paul will have all this and more (sourced by Mummy Fonseka of course) with him before he arrives to Andrea’s home. Helped by his groomsmen, Paul will then present these gifts to Andrea’s family.
“Getting” the Bride...?
After presenting the gifts to Andrea’s family, the Paul will be met by Andrea’s bridesmaids and sisters, who would not ‘surrender’ the bride until they were satisfied by red packets of money, ang pau from the groom’s representative. This was the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties could reach an agreement. He may also be put through several tasks to prove his love and sincerity in wanting to marry her (as if the suckling pig was not enough?).
These are as (but not limited to) the following challenges:
1. Taking a large shot of an alcoholic concoction which can be made up of anything from whiskey, vodka, tobasco and soy sauce, chilli paste, tequila and Jagermeister blended together
2. Performing athletic feats such as 50 push-ups
3. Answering questions about the bride which he *should* very well know. (Birthday, Anniversary, favourite dipping sauce)
4. Singing to her a song of choice
Thankfully for the groom, his groomsmen can be there to take the punch and execute challenges 1 & 2 above, but for the sake of the groom, he should be able to perform 3 & 4 on his own.
When the bridesmaids and sisters of the bride are satisfied, Andrea will part with her bridal bouquet as a sign that she will meet Paul at church.
Paul will then depart from the bride’s home at 10.00am, shortly followed by the bride and her party.
The Church Wedding – the Holy Union
Is pretty much like any other church wedding, with psalms, songs, vows and rings.
What happens after the church wedding – will be in my next post! :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Running out of time.
Okay just so you know, majority of the blog posts will be from Andrea, (Hi, yes it's me) seeing as I will be doing majority of the little details in Malaysia.
Paul's living in Perth, working very hard as a lawyer in an Intelectual Property firm. The last thing he would be able to do is continuously update this blog.
I on the other hand, use social media as a part of my job, and will be more than happy to share this part of my life with all of you.
Pictures will be uploaded on this blog, along with updates on how things are progressing. As of now, I have completed the following:
1. Assigned a wedding planner :: Jovian Mandagie (check!)
2. Double-triple checking the final draft of the invitations, done beauuutifully by Victor @ Magenta.
3. Paid the deposit on the Ballroom -- JW Marriott.
4. Met up with Kim Shia, Event Manager at the Marriott, to decide on the ballroom layout today.
5. Did the math -- and the numbers are escelating. Eeep!
Okay you can tell I'm not quite half done, I don't know what my wedding gown looks like yet, I haven't finalised the guestlist, I haven't chosen flowers. Oh I have the colours decided, its White, Cream and Gold.
Thus far this is the plan:
On the 23rd of July, Paul flies into KL. We will then travel down to Singapore for the weekend, and I will be celebrating my Hens Night in Singapore Style. (Best Maids Baba and Fei Ho, are still awaiting my response on the theme. Ladies I promise to get to you as soon as possible. Maybe via this blog, who knows?). We'll be going to Bintan on Sunday, for two nights, before going back to KL Wednesday, to spend time with Adeline (my eldest sister) who will be flying in that morning as well as Natasha and Lena. Wednesday night will be at Uncle Patrick's Damansara Seafood Village for dinner, (mmm!) and will spend Thursday recovering from all the crab I'd have consumed, and then Friday would be the Church Wedding Ceremony at Assumption Petaling Jaya. This will be followed by a lunch reception (venue TBC - yes I'm that horribly behind time), and that's where we'd do the Tea Ceremony. Saturday would be the Banquet Dinner at the JW Marriott Kuala Lumpur.
For my Australian friends, I will be elaborating on all the above in posts to come.
For now, I need to:
1. Get a florist
2. Get the stage design
3. Get a quotation for the stage design
4. Get my hair sorted out (A Cut Above would be the only choice?)
5. Make-up
6. Arrange the pre-wedding shoot
7. Get a production house for the pre-wedding videos
8. Get a venue for the lunch reception on the 30th.
9. Send out invitations -- dear Lord I have to get them printed first??
10. Get going to the gym more. o_0
All that on top of training Nadine for Miss Universe in August, putting together the frameworks for next year's Miss Universe Malaysia... Yes. Running out of time.
Can't wait though. :)
Paul's living in Perth, working very hard as a lawyer in an Intelectual Property firm. The last thing he would be able to do is continuously update this blog.
I on the other hand, use social media as a part of my job, and will be more than happy to share this part of my life with all of you.
Pictures will be uploaded on this blog, along with updates on how things are progressing. As of now, I have completed the following:
1. Assigned a wedding planner :: Jovian Mandagie (check!)
2. Double-triple checking the final draft of the invitations, done beauuutifully by Victor @ Magenta.
3. Paid the deposit on the Ballroom -- JW Marriott.
4. Met up with Kim Shia, Event Manager at the Marriott, to decide on the ballroom layout today.
5. Did the math -- and the numbers are escelating. Eeep!
Okay you can tell I'm not quite half done, I don't know what my wedding gown looks like yet, I haven't finalised the guestlist, I haven't chosen flowers. Oh I have the colours decided, its White, Cream and Gold.
Thus far this is the plan:
On the 23rd of July, Paul flies into KL. We will then travel down to Singapore for the weekend, and I will be celebrating my Hens Night in Singapore Style. (Best Maids Baba and Fei Ho, are still awaiting my response on the theme. Ladies I promise to get to you as soon as possible. Maybe via this blog, who knows?). We'll be going to Bintan on Sunday, for two nights, before going back to KL Wednesday, to spend time with Adeline (my eldest sister) who will be flying in that morning as well as Natasha and Lena. Wednesday night will be at Uncle Patrick's Damansara Seafood Village for dinner, (mmm!) and will spend Thursday recovering from all the crab I'd have consumed, and then Friday would be the Church Wedding Ceremony at Assumption Petaling Jaya. This will be followed by a lunch reception (venue TBC - yes I'm that horribly behind time), and that's where we'd do the Tea Ceremony. Saturday would be the Banquet Dinner at the JW Marriott Kuala Lumpur.
For my Australian friends, I will be elaborating on all the above in posts to come.
For now, I need to:
1. Get a florist
2. Get the stage design
3. Get a quotation for the stage design
4. Get my hair sorted out (A Cut Above would be the only choice?)
5. Make-up
6. Arrange the pre-wedding shoot
7. Get a production house for the pre-wedding videos
8. Get a venue for the lunch reception on the 30th.
9. Send out invitations -- dear Lord I have to get them printed first??
10. Get going to the gym more. o_0
All that on top of training Nadine for Miss Universe in August, putting together the frameworks for next year's Miss Universe Malaysia... Yes. Running out of time.
Can't wait though. :)
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